Compulsive Confession

Should the fact that I happen to be remain single for more than a year making me MORE or LESS choosy? I have a feeling it should, really, be making me less choosy. It’s like the whole beggars/choosers thing; take what you can get - that kind of idea. But it’s not. I don’t know why, but it’s not. I feel like every person I meet, as nice as they are, lovely people, and beautiful people, just don’t seem to come up to scratch. And I don’t even know what, or where, or who ‘Scratch’ is.

Basically, and I’m not thinking straight enough to put this right: Everyone, every one of the attractive, available men I meet, every one of them, every one-every-four-weeks-or-so, seem to have some lovely and ‘right’ attributes. But none of them seem to give me the ‘it’ feeling. And those that do ‘it’ right for me are either taken, player, or a celebrity. Which is also fine huhu. And what I hate the most is when I halfheartedly have to invest my time to make the correction, to pull me/them out from the wrong direction. Tiring and gloomy.

So I realized I’m not that much of a people person because I don’t like to please everyone that I meet. I want a ‘sure thing’, an experience I can count on. Sometimes I *really* question the whole natural selection thing. I enjoy being with myself more, although I really do enjoy company once in a while - I’ve spent some quality time with my housemates and some friends for the past four days. And I’m looking forward to meet Diha when she’s in Kuantan next week.

Damn it. I’m not being too choosy. I’m sure I’m not. I’m just being careful. I think.

Damn it. I think, at the end of the day, I have to visualize that I live on an island, in the middle of nowhere, with less than five single men on it. And more than 50 single women. Hmmm.

But then, it’s better to know when to be contented and satisfied than working for something that does not bear fruit or that takes too much effort. I just want it to be naturally simple. I want to be happy when I finally made the choice. No bother. I still have time

kan

kan

kann? (I already gave permission to Ayuni to slap me if I’m still like this at age 29).

P/S – I’m feeling a slight ‘it’ feeling at the moment =) yippie

Comments

[diha]

can't wait to meet u too...muahs!!!kumpul cite k..nanti update hehehe

[DiYaNa]

alrighty! =)

[h o s i a n g]

yeahh... u r absolutely rite!