Learning To Breathe

Holiday Dust

For the past few days, I struggled to cope with my last-minute holiday plan, got cracks and holes here and there. I can blame it all on myself and a series of unfortunate events. But I’m gonna make sure that I gotta love this holiday. (I’m motivating myself here) Just think how much fun it will be to hang around with just the girls, and talk-giggle-laugh. A low cost holiday that would feel priceless! Oh I miss you girls so so much! mwuah muah...whew - didn't mean to get all mushy...but oh so true :)

P/S - I wish my next holiday is going to be a R-E-A-L holiday

Compulsive Confession

Should the fact that I happen to be remain single for more than a year making me MORE or LESS choosy? I have a feeling it should, really, be making me less choosy. It’s like the whole beggars/choosers thing; take what you can get - that kind of idea. But it’s not. I don’t know why, but it’s not. I feel like every person I meet, as nice as they are, lovely people, and beautiful people, just don’t seem to come up to scratch. And I don’t even know what, or where, or who ‘Scratch’ is.

Basically, and I’m not thinking straight enough to put this right: Everyone, every one of the attractive, available men I meet, every one of them, every one-every-four-weeks-or-so, seem to have some lovely and ‘right’ attributes. But none of them seem to give me the ‘it’ feeling. And those that do ‘it’ right for me are either taken, player, or a celebrity. Which is also fine huhu. And what I hate the most is when I halfheartedly have to invest my time to make the correction, to pull me/them out from the wrong direction. Tiring and gloomy.

So I realized I’m not that much of a people person because I don’t like to please everyone that I meet. I want a ‘sure thing’, an experience I can count on. Sometimes I *really* question the whole natural selection thing. I enjoy being with myself more, although I really do enjoy company once in a while - I’ve spent some quality time with my housemates and some friends for the past four days. And I’m looking forward to meet Diha when she’s in Kuantan next week.

Damn it. I’m not being too choosy. I’m sure I’m not. I’m just being careful. I think.

Damn it. I think, at the end of the day, I have to visualize that I live on an island, in the middle of nowhere, with less than five single men on it. And more than 50 single women. Hmmm.

But then, it’s better to know when to be contented and satisfied than working for something that does not bear fruit or that takes too much effort. I just want it to be naturally simple. I want to be happy when I finally made the choice. No bother. I still have time

kan

kan

kann? (I already gave permission to Ayuni to slap me if I’m still like this at age 29).

P/S – I’m feeling a slight ‘it’ feeling at the moment =) yippie

Lifehouse Me Likey

People, don't miss out the new album (4th) by Lifehouse titled 'Who We Are'. Sendiri pon blom beli lagi sbanrnye sbb puas cari kat Kuantan town xde yg jual pons, kne cari bile gi KL/Seremban nanti la kut. Their first single - 'First Time' is awesome because I always prefer catchy tunes from them. And after 7 years, I still find Jason Wade sexy is his own way...awww~

An Old Non-Happy Ending

This is to announce that I'm no longer putting on hope in the fairytale-land ~ =(…Thank you very very very much to those who are there for me during my major breakdown last Monday. Sampai amek MC tak pegi keje hmm teruk tuu. Maybe dah lumrah hidup, kite susah in one part, senang in other parts. I’m still a positive person and always will be… plus, I’m finally ‘wide-open’. This time, it’s serious talking.

OK OK enough with all the sad things… although I’m still not so OK (down gile) with everything that had happened, out with the old story, I must blurt this other one out, I had a great first-date last week =). The guy is temporarily here on project basis. I love ‘1^st’, first is important, first is always good for me right? Huhhuu yeah rite ~. I hardly ever had a smooth first-date before, not even with my ex-bfs. So this is a new benchmark. Wow. I’m impressed...